the story in which Alex Seattle Geer is right for hating enclosed spaces,

[doubletap]

and Neil Park is blamed for his knowledge of vaults.

---

Terminal Entries:

1st Floor, Vault Entry-Room Computer:
- Data Entry 1: Year 20XX, Month XX; There's no escape.
- Holotape Entry 1: Y#4@ SDhig^8705 H98 [data corrupted]; This is hell and I want out of it.

1st Floor, Cafeteria Luncheon:
- Holotape Entry 2: Private Recording; I've had better?

1st Floor, Cafeteria Supply Room:
- Inventory List: Inventory List; A list of food....
- Data Entry 2: Shift Notes; Maybe I should tear the walls down.

1st Floor, Broken Cave:
- Data Entry 3: Preparations; Everything's fine.
- Data Entry 4: Near the End; I'll tell you the truth, but I won't give up my soul.
- Data Entry 5: Finally, the End is at Hand.; This is far enough.

1st Floor, Office:
- Data Entry 6: Vault-Wide Public Service Announcement; Get back to work everyone.
- Data Entry 7: Locked Administrative Reply; You're reaching for straws.

1st Floor, Administrative Secretary's Office:
- Data Entry 8: Drama Hoes; It is sort of funny that people aren't able to lie, though.
- Holotape Entry 3: Bill Self-Log; Byron's access still works everywhere.

Comments

[doubletap]

[ He lets him.

Lets go and lets him do whatever, and when Neil speaks, Alex lets that lay there, too. Watching is enough for now. He's too off-balance for anything more. ]

[goodfight]

[Free, Neil rolls off the table and onto his feet. Without another beside him, the room feels cold, and he moves to pick up his pair of briefs and undershirt that were happily thrown on the floor hours before.

The strange emotion in his chest moves to sadness at the sight.]

Sorry for making things awkward.

[Are the strained words. He carefully puts on the briefs, ignoring any evidence on his body of their earlier activities.]

[doubletap]

[ His answer would have been, "Are things awkward?" A distraction, playfulness, and an attempt at moving on.

Here, Alex swallows. Here, he is aware of how different he is acting. ]

...You touched me like you love me.

[ Fuck fuck fuck shit fuck shit shit fuck fuck. ]

[goodfight]

[Cloth on his body serves to accentuate the evidence, making Neil feel all weird and...crusty. He walks over to his pack, fishing around its contents in search of a rag and a bottle of purified water.

What Alex responses with, however, has him halting all actions. Neil stares intently at Alex, unaware of the blood creeping over his cheeks.]

...As opposed to?

[doubletap]

[ Alex burns red, his skin a tone that has never been seen.

He looks at his hands, at his legs at his strewn clothes. The words pull out of him. ]

...As opposed to normal.

[goodfight]

[And thus, the Courier turns a color Neil has never seen before on the man. Concern overwhelms all over emotions, he ignores the contents to rise to a stand.]

I'm not really into sex normally, but...are you okay, old man? You're, uh, looking really out of it.

[doubletap]

[ Of course I'm fine. ]

...I'm not. I'm really not fine.

[goodfight]

[As figured. Worry rises to his face.]

What do you need? Is there anything I can help you with?

[doubletap]

You need to...

[ Stop. Just stop, Alex.

He presses a hand into his face, into his watering eyes, and can't think of a time he felt more disconnected from himself. Even when his brain was outside of his body, he was still him. ]

...You've made a mess of me, kid. I don't know what to do.

[goodfight]

[...Ah, fuck. Literally. Alex means the nature of their 'rendezvous' as well as the words and the emotions shown. Neil would curse the influence of this vault, but deep inside, the man knows that does not deter from the truth.

Instead, he steps toward Alex, a hand outstretched toward the other man's hand. Nervous of the outcome, he falters mid-way, and it settles on the desk.]

Was all of...that too much? Or unwanted?

[doubletap]

Wanted.

[ That's the easy part to say. ]

Grossly, immensely, all-you-can-think-of, everything-you-dream-of wanted. But too much. Yeah. Too much.

[goodfight]

Oh.

[Oh. What a simple thing to say for such a complex matter. Neil runs a hand through his hair, attempting to reorder his thoughts.]

I don't know how this vault is playing into our behavior, or if I'm just that messed up, but I'll try to back off. If that helps.

[doubletap]

[ He's silent for a beat. Then traces a scar along his thigh. He doesn't remember where he got it. ]

...That doesn't take away the stuff that already happened.

[goodfight]

Shit.

[He had a feeling that would be the answer, and it makes him very upset. The emotion shows clearly.]

Look, I'm really sorry! If I knew you'd be this affected, I would have changed everything!

[doubletap]

[ Another beat of silence. Another stare downward. Then Alex finally lifts his gaze.

He looks... lost. And immensely alone. ]

...So what should I do now?

[goodfight]

[...Jesus. The guy looks like he needs a hug.

And thus, prompted by more than his emotions, Neil moves to hold him.]

Would you stay here while I look for a way out?

[doubletap]

[ He is still for a beat, rigid. Then reaches to hug Neil, fingers pressing into Neil's skin. ]

Of course not.

[ A mutter. He was looking for an answer, for some way to keep moving. That question is nowhere near it. ]

[goodfight]

I figured.

[This man's stupid insistence on tagging along. Neil leans to press forehead against forehead.

He pulls his head back suddenly, his eyes holding onto a kind of misery.]

Then focus on getting of here. Then things--

[This is an unwanted echo.]

--will be simple again.

[doubletap]

[ The affection, easy as it comes, is something shaking. It cracks the fortification of his self, and when Neil speaks, misery is his eyes, Alex leans to kiss him.

It is delicate and halting, gentle and holding nothing of his usual confidence. There is something in Alex unsurprised when he feels the wet on his cheeks. ]

[goodfight]

[A kiss graces between them, the moment fragile as glass, ephemeral as life in the Wastes. Neil wonders if he should (if he could) stop this, and Alex--

Is crying. There is wetness slipping from somewhere, and this time, it is certainly not from the younger man. Perhaps Neil should take this as recompense for his earlier weakness, for making the other tolerate his lack of control, but honestly, it doesn't matter. This all just so very fucking tragic.

Is this how people express their love and affection? Through tears? He doesn't fucking know.

Neil presses a hand into Alex's hair and pets the strands. Tries for assurance.]

[doubletap]

[ They are opposite. Neil made sounds of mourning and Alex makes not a sound. When he leans back, his eyes remain closed. ]

This was supposed to be simple. You were supposed to be simple.

[goodfight]

[This is too easy of an answer and a bit of a repeat. Neil exhales slowly.]

I was never simple, Alex.

[doubletap]

Fuck me for being an idiot, then. I didn't realize--

[ A lot. There's too much to say. ]

I didn't realize how it would feel to have you love me back.

[goodfight]

[Huh. It sounds almost like--]

You never thought I would reciprocate? Even after I told you I lov--

[He coughs, unwilling to dispense the full extent of that moment. When he went off for weeks on a caravan to sort out that realization.]

...Care about you.

[doubletap]

[ He opens his eyes at that, and gives a half-smile. ]

You haven't been. Not fully.