the story in which Alex Seattle Geer is right for hating enclosed spaces,

[doubletap]

and Neil Park is blamed for his knowledge of vaults.

---

Terminal Entries:

1st Floor, Vault Entry-Room Computer:
- Data Entry 1: Year 20XX, Month XX; There's no escape.
- Holotape Entry 1: Y#4@ SDhig^8705 H98 [data corrupted]; This is hell and I want out of it.

1st Floor, Cafeteria Luncheon:
- Holotape Entry 2: Private Recording; I've had better?

1st Floor, Cafeteria Supply Room:
- Inventory List: Inventory List; A list of food....
- Data Entry 2: Shift Notes; Maybe I should tear the walls down.

1st Floor, Broken Cave:
- Data Entry 3: Preparations; Everything's fine.
- Data Entry 4: Near the End; I'll tell you the truth, but I won't give up my soul.
- Data Entry 5: Finally, the End is at Hand.; This is far enough.

1st Floor, Office:
- Data Entry 6: Vault-Wide Public Service Announcement; Get back to work everyone.
- Data Entry 7: Locked Administrative Reply; You're reaching for straws.

1st Floor, Administrative Secretary's Office:
- Data Entry 8: Drama Hoes; It is sort of funny that people aren't able to lie, though.
- Holotape Entry 3: Bill Self-Log; Byron's access still works everywhere.

Comments

[goodfight]

I figured.

[This man's stupid insistence on tagging along. Neil leans to press forehead against forehead.

He pulls his head back suddenly, his eyes holding onto a kind of misery.]

Then focus on getting of here. Then things--

[This is an unwanted echo.]

--will be simple again.

[doubletap]

[ The affection, easy as it comes, is something shaking. It cracks the fortification of his self, and when Neil speaks, misery is his eyes, Alex leans to kiss him.

It is delicate and halting, gentle and holding nothing of his usual confidence. There is something in Alex unsurprised when he feels the wet on his cheeks. ]

[goodfight]

[A kiss graces between them, the moment fragile as glass, ephemeral as life in the Wastes. Neil wonders if he should (if he could) stop this, and Alex--

Is crying. There is wetness slipping from somewhere, and this time, it is certainly not from the younger man. Perhaps Neil should take this as recompense for his earlier weakness, for making the other tolerate his lack of control, but honestly, it doesn't matter. This all just so very fucking tragic.

Is this how people express their love and affection? Through tears? He doesn't fucking know.

Neil presses a hand into Alex's hair and pets the strands. Tries for assurance.]

[doubletap]

[ They are opposite. Neil made sounds of mourning and Alex makes not a sound. When he leans back, his eyes remain closed. ]

This was supposed to be simple. You were supposed to be simple.

[goodfight]

[This is too easy of an answer and a bit of a repeat. Neil exhales slowly.]

I was never simple, Alex.

[doubletap]

Fuck me for being an idiot, then. I didn't realize--

[ A lot. There's too much to say. ]

I didn't realize how it would feel to have you love me back.

[goodfight]

[Huh. It sounds almost like--]

You never thought I would reciprocate? Even after I told you I lov--

[He coughs, unwilling to dispense the full extent of that moment. When he went off for weeks on a caravan to sort out that realization.]

...Care about you.

[doubletap]

[ He opens his eyes at that, and gives a half-smile. ]

You haven't been. Not fully.

[goodfight]

[Neil mulls over the reply a bit before murmuring.]

I guess I'm bad at that. Since me caring about something seems to drive that something away.

[The answer is far more truthful than he intended.]

[doubletap]

Especially when you're not willing to admit it a lot.

[ That care.

Alex reaches out without his usual swagger, reaches to pull Neil from next to him, to tug him into Alex's lap. ]

[goodfight]

[Perhaps that is the root of things. The possibility does not bother him as much as the dejection that comes from it.]

Aren't I basically now?

[Admitting everything.

It matters little. Neil follows the prompting without resistance, albeit the closeness (and the lack of clothes) makes him tense up in anticipation.

For what remains unknown.]

[doubletap]

Maybe. Or maybe it's not what I think it is.

[ Because his thoughts need to settle, if they are going to move forward. One way or the other. ]

Touch me.

[goodfight]

[The request strikes as strange. On another day, it might sound suspicious, but now, the younger man doesn't know what to think.

After a second, he quietly reaches out to press a hand against Alex's chest, near the other's heart.]

[doubletap]

[ Alex stares, seemingly waiting. ]

[goodfight]

[The weight of Alex's gaze proves unnerving to the point of discomfort, and something cracks within Neil. He moves the other hand to cup the side of Alex's jaw, dark eyes watching.]

What are you looking for?

[doubletap]

[ The touch to his face is not what he expected--Alex shudders and closes his eyes. This is not what he was asking for--

But he doesn't know what is needed anymore. ]

Something simple.

[goodfight]

[Neil continues watching, his eyes unmoving. The hand on Alex's chest slides across to grasp the left shoulder lightly as the other hand remains.]

Is that what you want? Simple?

[doubletap]

[ Alex keeps a hand on Neil's hip, and moves his other hand to hold the hand against his face. Despite pride, or the lack of it, Alex leans his head into it.

He speaks quietly. ]

...I don't know.

[goodfight]

I'm not going anywhere.

[The words are spoken without restraint. Neil releases his hand from Alex's shoulder to run his fingers over the skin.]

Take your time figuring out what you want. I'll wait.

[doubletap]

[ He shivers at the touch, and doesn't try to hide it. His lashes flutter against his cheeks.

His voice is rough, quiet. ]

...What the hell are you saying, kid?

[goodfight]

[His gaze holds steady even as his innards churns within him.]

I'm saying that I'm staying with you.

[A strained pause.]

Until you find out what you want from me.

[doubletap]

[ The hand on Neil's tightens at that, and his eyes open to stare again. ]

I know what I want from you. That was never in question.

[ What he's having a problem with... ]

I'm just... I was used to you not being so in this with me. How the hell am I supposed to act when you're telling me you love me and want to stay with me? This whole time, I've been--

[ He swallows. ]

...Preparing for you to leave.

[goodfight]

[There is a sad chuckle, a release of tension. He trails in hand from the other man's shoulder to arm, lightly pressing against the skin.]

I'm a shithead. I don't blame you for thinking that.

[Neil nervously licks his lips.]

This didn't come with this vault. This...feeling isn't even brand new to me. I knew when we left D.C. that I wouldn't be able to walk away from you again.

[doubletap]

[ The touching can't be ignored, not from this source. Not when it's as rare as it is. He moves against the touch, more of his body reacting. Despite this, he speaks instead. ]

...What changed?

[goodfight]

[The question proves multilayered and ultimately, difficult. His fingers rest at an elbow.]

Dad is dead.

[What exactly changed.]

That place... [That horrible, traumatizing swamp.] Made me finally let him go.