ghost of a chance.

[goodfight]

The Capital Wasteland. It's a wasteland. It has dead trees. There are trash, debris, and rotting corpses everywhere. It's Neil's hometown. D.C. ain't pretty, but D.C. is where he comes from. A crappy start, literally.

Neil's hardly phased, though. Despite Alex's clear opinions regarding the area, the younger guy has been looking forward to getting back. Years have passed since he last laid eyes on the Capital Wasteland; some positive change must have occurred. Or any change, really. Anything would be fine.

As they pass through Megaton's gate, however, Neil catches a glimpse of that thing, and he stops dead in his tracks. His eyes widening to show white.

"Da... Dad?"

Comments

[doubletap]

The smile Neil noticed only grows at the mention. "I'm good with this," he agrees softly. "I love you."

[goodfight]

He could continue as he normally does, but no. Fuck it. "Guess I love you, too," Neil says carefully, "judging from how pleased I am to hear that."

[doubletap]

...He really doesn't understand what the fuck is going on, but there is less blood in his head by this point and he is wasting energy trying to figure it out. "God damn, kid," he breathes out, slipping his hands up to cup Neil's face. Alex--calm, collected, eternally amused Alex--looks thoroughly off his rails. Ruined, in a way most would love to see.

"God damn," he repeats, closing the gap between them to kiss the kid who's knocking him so far off his normal setting.

[goodfight]

Neil's achieved the almost improbable: Alex Seattle Geer is off his damn game, and it's all because of a kid who's barely getting used to being an adult. But this kid's off-balance as well, and he wonders if this is the first sign that he's falling into something else. Something he can't properly put into words.

He moves into the kiss, returns it lightly. Neil breathes in the scent of the other, taking actual pleasure in something where he hasn't before.

[doubletap]

The enthusiasm is new, something that makes something stir in Alex, not lust or want or amusement-- It feels like hope and it fucking scares him, but there is nothing in him that would reject the interaction, not in him that would stop. It's better to experience this, he knows. Better to have held this in his arms and have once claimed it as his own, than never have had the experience.

He backs up, pulling Neil with him, not breaking the kiss; backs until he hits wall and pulls Neil into him. He murmurs into lips, in between breaths of air, mumbles affection and love and appreciation in the moments in between.

[goodfight]

He slips into another's movements so easily, and somewhere, Neil registers the echo. A lingering threat of before, a potential intrusion into their space, but affection overtakes everything else, and he's stays kissing Alex, both arms wrapping tightly around the other man's torso. Life, love, and the unnamed passing between them.

Neil breathes suddenly. Pulls back gasping as if he's been underwater for a very long time. "Shit, uh--" He feels off, thrown across somewhere unknown. "I need to-- Bar that door."

[doubletap]

Neil is off. Affected, and off his game, and it's fucking delicious. Alex makes a sound in his throat in response, pulling Neil back to him, swallowing words with his tongue, and a part of Alex's brain wonders what changed. Is this just a way for Neil to ignore his dad? Rebel against him even? Is he using Alex as a distraction--an excuse?

Except Neil said he loves him. Said he was happy that Alex said the same.

There's a sound like a growl from Alex and he breaks contact, eyes closing in a bid for concentration. He squeezes Neil to him, pressing himself into him, grinding once, then breathes out, letting go and moving past him. Alex whistles for ED-E, whom Dogmeat follows after a glance at Neil (who is giving off the mate smell and therefore not in the mood to play), and opens the door, whistles a three note request. ED-E chirps back happily.

Alex shuts the door behind dog and 'bot, and returns with a heavy step and darkened eyes to Neil. He grabs him, holds him close, and kisses his neck. "...They'll stay right outside the door. Won't let anyone in." He presses against Neil, hands moving over his back.

[goodfight]

If he said something, Neil doesn't recall. Alex pulls him into it once more, and by the time the older man addresses the concern, Neil has forgotten. Stares breathlessly at the other directing their kids outside the door, whistling instructions.

Then Neil understands, before Alex comes back and starts things once more. He murmurs a content sound, a hand reaching to twist fingers into Alex's hair. "So," Neil begins. "That christening you were talking about."

A step too far, too unnecessary. A step he gladly takes for the moment.

[doubletap]

Neil twines his fingers into Alex's hair, and he never thought he would think that that act is sexy. The kid speaks, and he forgets his damn train of thought. "God fucking damn, Neil."

Alex nips under Neil's chin, before coming up to kiss him deeply. He's out of breath, out of mind. "...God damn, you own me right now."

[goodfight]

Any chuckling that might have occurred is cut short by a deep kiss, taking away breaths and understanding both. Neil presses his other hand against Alex's cheek, rubbing against the skin there. "This is different," he manages, chest heaving. "Not like the usual."

He's teasing, but it remains the truth. This is thoroughly different from the norm.

[doubletap]

Neil touches him, and Alex lets out a quiet moan. Tries to swallow it, muffle, but it's already in the air. He leans his head against Neil's, lower body pressing against Neil in need. He breathes out roughly.

"Tell me why," he wants to know, needs it somewhere desperately. He kisses Neil's forehead, lips lingering. "Tell me what changed."

Because Alex is reacting. Neil is the one who has shifted.

[goodfight]

They're both quietly becoming ruined, and Alex would question why. Press them together in familiar ways and ask for the reason for the change. And Neil Park, whose past the point of no return, would give it away freely.

"I'm home," he says lowly, pulling upward to meet lips together.

Months from now, Neil would realize he was not speaking of the Capital Wasteland. Not referring to Megaton. Not his Crap Shack. His home was never a place, he would understand. Never something so straightforward as a place.

[doubletap]

So it is the home territory detail. It is the fact of being in the familiar. It's fucking tragic, because Alex considers moving to the shitty Capital Wasteland if it's the catalyst in making Neil actively love him.

He shifts again, back to how it was before--leans back against the wall and pulls Neil against him without breaking the kiss. Lets the kid set the pace--wants to see how it goes.

[goodfight]

A string tugs at his chest, his heart beats faster than he would prefer, but Neil ignores the sensations for what is in front of him. And what is in front of him is familiar and new both. It is Alex against him and none other.

Both hands detach from their original places to traverse downward, to wrap firmly around the other's waist. Neil breaks the kiss to breathe, inhaling oxygen and scent both. To smile at Alex before diving in again for a kiss.

[doubletap]

The smile affects more than the touching, and despite his prior want of letting Neil set the pace, something thicker moved through Alex. He lets Neil kiss him for a moment, then stops, pulling Neil back so he can look him in the eyes. He places his hands on either side of Neil's face.

Alex's expression is different. Solemn, with gravity. Something shifted enough that he regained some part of his control, at least enough to press points forward.

"I love you," he says, voice deep; thick. "Enough that it scares me. I want to stay with you, kid. More than anything. I want to permanently stay with you. I don't want you to... go off, or back to stupid assholes, or decide you want to go it alone. I want to be at your side all the time. Always."

Forever, his mind supplies, but he's too fucking old to say that out loud, even with the teenager way he's acting at the moment. "I want you," he presses upon Neil. "Not just for sex or shit like that. I want you. Just you. As you are."

[goodfight]

They pull apart to speak words-- Sentiments, Neil finds, that prove far more potent than a mere declaration of love. Alex presses love, companionship, and genuine want, and Neil loses the smile, drops the confidence from his countenance, and finds himself trembling.

There's a potential for loss, great and heavy in the backdrop. There is death on the horizon from where they are.

He stops, of course. Trembling and imagery both. He stops shaking long enough to reach up to brush his thumb across Alex's lips. "You're the only person," Neil responses quietly, with emotion. "The only fucking person to say that to me. Did you know that?"

Did Alex understand that? "How the hell am I supposed to say no to you? After that?"

[doubletap]

Neil touches him, runs his finger over his lips, and Alex kisses that thumb, a reaction as natural as breathing. The words Neil uses are ones that comfort instead of condemn, and Alex smiles to him; links his hands behind Neil's back and holds him tight.

"Good," he says simply, in something of his familiar tone. "That's good. I want to be your only person. I want to be the only one to say that to you."

He tilts his head, watches Neil with a smile. "I want you to be unable to say no."

[goodfight]

Alex would accept that, that position, and it's starting to reek of a marriage purposeful. Neil flushes deeply, every part of him affected, far too affected to think in terms of what came before. There is none other. There is no father, no harshness of the Wastes, nothing. Only them.

Neil finds himself smiling without actual thought. Returns to teasing to convey a truth. "You must be so damn tired of hearing no from me," he remarks. "Sorry, for the resistance."

[doubletap]

"Ah," he says lightly, as if they hadn't just been in the middle of starting something. "But resistance is apparently your signature move. If you didn't resist, I wouldn't know what to do."

...Point proven, he supposes.

[goodfight]

Oh. Let him just run away with that a bit.

"Well, coincidentally," is the continuation. "I'm pretty sure you could just take me right now without any resistance." The smile on Neil's face widens to a playful smirk. "But it seems like you don't know what to do with that."

[doubletap]

The calm evaporates, and Alex closes his eyes against it. For a moment, his lips thin, like a man walking a short line, but after a moment, instead-- He bursts out laughing.

Eyes sparkling, he leans forward, putting his face very close to Neil's. "I know what to do with you, Mr. Park. Don't doubt me. Is there a bed we could ruin in this shack?"

[goodfight]

There we go. Laughter. It's the damn cure for nearly everything, sometimes. Neil laughs in turn before pointing up.

"Second floor, door on the left," he says, nudging forward to knock foreheads together. "That bed doesn't have sheets, though, and the mattress is questionable." A warning, just to keep everyone well-informed.

[doubletap]

"God damn this place is garbage," he murmurs, before closing the distance to kiss Neil. He enjoys the motion, but eventually leans back and cocks his eyebrow.

"What a tragedy that I'm thinking of moving here."

[goodfight]

The statement has Neil laughing against Alex's lips, continuing the sound after they momentarily separate. "That is a tragedy," he returns. "You seen the bloated corpses we passed by, right? The garbage everywhere? You love your fucking Mojave. Why would you ever leave it?"

[doubletap]

Neil laughs and Alex kisses him again, the sound warming him somewhere in his bones. "Because you laugh here. Because you look happy here.

"Because you love me here."