ghost of a chance.

[goodfight]

The Capital Wasteland. It's a wasteland. It has dead trees. There are trash, debris, and rotting corpses everywhere. It's Neil's hometown. D.C. ain't pretty, but D.C. is where he comes from. A crappy start, literally.

Neil's hardly phased, though. Despite Alex's clear opinions regarding the area, the younger guy has been looking forward to getting back. Years have passed since he last laid eyes on the Capital Wasteland; some positive change must have occurred. Or any change, really. Anything would be fine.

As they pass through Megaton's gate, however, Neil catches a glimpse of that thing, and he stops dead in his tracks. His eyes widening to show white.

"Da... Dad?"

Comments

[goodfight]

Any chuckling that might have occurred is cut short by a deep kiss, taking away breaths and understanding both. Neil presses his other hand against Alex's cheek, rubbing against the skin there. "This is different," he manages, chest heaving. "Not like the usual."

He's teasing, but it remains the truth. This is thoroughly different from the norm.

[doubletap]

Neil touches him, and Alex lets out a quiet moan. Tries to swallow it, muffle, but it's already in the air. He leans his head against Neil's, lower body pressing against Neil in need. He breathes out roughly.

"Tell me why," he wants to know, needs it somewhere desperately. He kisses Neil's forehead, lips lingering. "Tell me what changed."

Because Alex is reacting. Neil is the one who has shifted.

[goodfight]

They're both quietly becoming ruined, and Alex would question why. Press them together in familiar ways and ask for the reason for the change. And Neil Park, whose past the point of no return, would give it away freely.

"I'm home," he says lowly, pulling upward to meet lips together.

Months from now, Neil would realize he was not speaking of the Capital Wasteland. Not referring to Megaton. Not his Crap Shack. His home was never a place, he would understand. Never something so straightforward as a place.

[doubletap]

So it is the home territory detail. It is the fact of being in the familiar. It's fucking tragic, because Alex considers moving to the shitty Capital Wasteland if it's the catalyst in making Neil actively love him.

He shifts again, back to how it was before--leans back against the wall and pulls Neil against him without breaking the kiss. Lets the kid set the pace--wants to see how it goes.

[goodfight]

A string tugs at his chest, his heart beats faster than he would prefer, but Neil ignores the sensations for what is in front of him. And what is in front of him is familiar and new both. It is Alex against him and none other.

Both hands detach from their original places to traverse downward, to wrap firmly around the other's waist. Neil breaks the kiss to breathe, inhaling oxygen and scent both. To smile at Alex before diving in again for a kiss.

[doubletap]

The smile affects more than the touching, and despite his prior want of letting Neil set the pace, something thicker moved through Alex. He lets Neil kiss him for a moment, then stops, pulling Neil back so he can look him in the eyes. He places his hands on either side of Neil's face.

Alex's expression is different. Solemn, with gravity. Something shifted enough that he regained some part of his control, at least enough to press points forward.

"I love you," he says, voice deep; thick. "Enough that it scares me. I want to stay with you, kid. More than anything. I want to permanently stay with you. I don't want you to... go off, or back to stupid assholes, or decide you want to go it alone. I want to be at your side all the time. Always."

Forever, his mind supplies, but he's too fucking old to say that out loud, even with the teenager way he's acting at the moment. "I want you," he presses upon Neil. "Not just for sex or shit like that. I want you. Just you. As you are."

[goodfight]

They pull apart to speak words-- Sentiments, Neil finds, that prove far more potent than a mere declaration of love. Alex presses love, companionship, and genuine want, and Neil loses the smile, drops the confidence from his countenance, and finds himself trembling.

There's a potential for loss, great and heavy in the backdrop. There is death on the horizon from where they are.

He stops, of course. Trembling and imagery both. He stops shaking long enough to reach up to brush his thumb across Alex's lips. "You're the only person," Neil responses quietly, with emotion. "The only fucking person to say that to me. Did you know that?"

Did Alex understand that? "How the hell am I supposed to say no to you? After that?"

[doubletap]

Neil touches him, runs his finger over his lips, and Alex kisses that thumb, a reaction as natural as breathing. The words Neil uses are ones that comfort instead of condemn, and Alex smiles to him; links his hands behind Neil's back and holds him tight.

"Good," he says simply, in something of his familiar tone. "That's good. I want to be your only person. I want to be the only one to say that to you."

He tilts his head, watches Neil with a smile. "I want you to be unable to say no."

[goodfight]

Alex would accept that, that position, and it's starting to reek of a marriage purposeful. Neil flushes deeply, every part of him affected, far too affected to think in terms of what came before. There is none other. There is no father, no harshness of the Wastes, nothing. Only them.

Neil finds himself smiling without actual thought. Returns to teasing to convey a truth. "You must be so damn tired of hearing no from me," he remarks. "Sorry, for the resistance."

[doubletap]

"Ah," he says lightly, as if they hadn't just been in the middle of starting something. "But resistance is apparently your signature move. If you didn't resist, I wouldn't know what to do."

...Point proven, he supposes.

[goodfight]

Oh. Let him just run away with that a bit.

"Well, coincidentally," is the continuation. "I'm pretty sure you could just take me right now without any resistance." The smile on Neil's face widens to a playful smirk. "But it seems like you don't know what to do with that."

[doubletap]

The calm evaporates, and Alex closes his eyes against it. For a moment, his lips thin, like a man walking a short line, but after a moment, instead-- He bursts out laughing.

Eyes sparkling, he leans forward, putting his face very close to Neil's. "I know what to do with you, Mr. Park. Don't doubt me. Is there a bed we could ruin in this shack?"

[goodfight]

There we go. Laughter. It's the damn cure for nearly everything, sometimes. Neil laughs in turn before pointing up.

"Second floor, door on the left," he says, nudging forward to knock foreheads together. "That bed doesn't have sheets, though, and the mattress is questionable." A warning, just to keep everyone well-informed.

[doubletap]

"God damn this place is garbage," he murmurs, before closing the distance to kiss Neil. He enjoys the motion, but eventually leans back and cocks his eyebrow.

"What a tragedy that I'm thinking of moving here."

[goodfight]

The statement has Neil laughing against Alex's lips, continuing the sound after they momentarily separate. "That is a tragedy," he returns. "You seen the bloated corpses we passed by, right? The garbage everywhere? You love your fucking Mojave. Why would you ever leave it?"

[doubletap]

Neil laughs and Alex kisses him again, the sound warming him somewhere in his bones. "Because you laugh here. Because you look happy here.

"Because you love me here."

[goodfight]

As opposed to rejecting Alex. Yeah, Neil gets it. There's something here, something he can't quite put a finger on, that makes him act lighter despite the horrible moments from before.

Neil murmurs into the kiss, mingling breaths. "I love you anywhere. I'm just..." What is that word? That descriptor? "Myself. I feel like myself."

[doubletap]

"Then be yourself," he replies back.

Alex leans back, tilting his head to catch Neil's eye. "I said I was okay with months, remember? But we'd have to talk about years. Here's that talk." Suddenly, uncharacteristically self-conscious, he glances down. "...But only if you're okay with it. I want to stay with you, wherever you are."

[goodfight]

A solution that's simple. Who would've thought?

The next, however, is not so straightforward, and Neil blinks back at Alex. Tries to make sense of it. Months is okay, but years-- Isn't Alex more or less the unspoken guardian of the Mojave?

"...Alex." A pause. "You sure?"

[doubletap]

"You tell me," he says, glancing back up for a second. "Is this what you want? To stay here?"

[goodfight]

Neil-- His chest hurts suddenly, without a single explanation. "I don't know," he says honestly. "I haven't thought that far ahead."

[doubletap]

The expression moves across Neil's face, discomfort and uncertainty. Alex feels contrite for ruining the moment. He pulls Neil back against him, tilting his chin up. "Then don't think right now. But let me know."

He kisses him softly, then rests his head against Neil's own. "...If you want me, I'm yours."

[goodfight]

Neil feels contrite for giving himself away, but the allowance of a delay eases his discomfort. And again, he's drawn to Alex. "I will," he murmurs kindly, smiling at the face so near his own. "But what do we do now?"

[doubletap]

This answer is simple. Alex smiles back, almost mischievously. "Well, obviously, we go ruin a bed."