the story in which Alex Seattle Geer is right for hating enclosed spaces,

[doubletap]

and Neil Park is blamed for his knowledge of vaults.

---

Terminal Entries:

1st Floor, Vault Entry-Room Computer:
- Data Entry 1: Year 20XX, Month XX; There's no escape.
- Holotape Entry 1: Y#4@ SDhig^8705 H98 [data corrupted]; This is hell and I want out of it.

1st Floor, Cafeteria Luncheon:
- Holotape Entry 2: Private Recording; I've had better?

1st Floor, Cafeteria Supply Room:
- Inventory List: Inventory List; A list of food....
- Data Entry 2: Shift Notes; Maybe I should tear the walls down.

1st Floor, Broken Cave:
- Data Entry 3: Preparations; Everything's fine.
- Data Entry 4: Near the End; I'll tell you the truth, but I won't give up my soul.
- Data Entry 5: Finally, the End is at Hand.; This is far enough.

1st Floor, Office:
- Data Entry 6: Vault-Wide Public Service Announcement; Get back to work everyone.
- Data Entry 7: Locked Administrative Reply; You're reaching for straws.

1st Floor, Administrative Secretary's Office:
- Data Entry 8: Drama Hoes; It is sort of funny that people aren't able to lie, though.
- Holotape Entry 3: Bill Self-Log; Byron's access still works everywhere.

Comments

[goodfight]

[Here, Neil would laugh, mirthless and biting. Full of self-hatred. He releases Alex and straightens to a stand.]

Never had friends, never had lovers.

[A repeat. There is a point and a purpose.]

Never knew how to show affection. Lived too long guarding against people. Using them. Hating them. It was the only way I could think to respond to you. Doesn't excuse it or make it right. But that's why.

[He inhales sharply, stale air filling his lungs.]

I once read boys sometimes bully the girls they like. Push them into the mud in hopes of continuing interaction. Guess I'm basically that little cocksucker.

[doubletap]

[ There's things to mention, more to say, but something is nearly shy in his chest, and when Neil moves away from him, it lets him turn to habits.

He thinks he won't be able to say the words, because they are a joke, as always, but it turns out he wants more than he knows.

The tone is familiar, full of innuendo and want. ]

I wish you would sometimes.

[goodfight]

[An eyebrow raises toward the ceiling.]

I would what?

[doubletap]

[ Ah and here is the trap. Alex grabs for his own mouth, but the words come out clearly behind the flesh of his fingers. ]

Put my cock down your throat.

[goodfight]

[A beat of silence passes as Neil processes that nugget of gold.

Finally, he cants his head.]

Well, tell me when and where, and I could make that happen for you.

[doubletap]

[ Alex whimpers, hard at once at the offer, and leans forward--elbows on his knees, head in his hands. ]

[goodfight]

[Perhaps that was a bit much, but they're in a damn truth vault, and Neil's not going to say no.

But he will reach over and rest his hand on Alex's dull, muddied hair.]

[doubletap]

...Mean.

[ A mutter, a whine, like he's five and Neil is teasing him. Pushing him in the mud, like he said. ]

You acted like you hated me and now you're laissez faire with the thought of sucking me off.

[ He throbs, cocks straining against the fabric at the verbalization, and he nearly shakes his head. Twice yesterday was apparently not enough. ]

[goodfight]

[Poor Alex Seattle Geer. Overwhelmed and confused.

Neil feels and gives into that pesky urge to grin. His hand moves in slow petting motions through the other's hair.]

We're in a vault that destroys lies, walls, and inhibitions. I couldn't pretend even if I wanted to.

[His lips lose their smile, and he wonders. Thinks about one thing (that isn't sex).]

But haven't I been changing lately? Even a little bit?

[doubletap]

[ It turns him inside out, the hand in his hair, Neil's voice rolling through him. He wants Neil in his lap, he wants to straddle Neil; he doesn't care, he just wants closeness, wants it now, messy and hot, as long as the emotions are attached, because he doesn't think he could ever do it again, sex without the feeling behind it, he's long gone, long past the point of no return.

He reaches up slowly, pulls Neil's hand down to the solid hardness at the juncture of his hips and thighs, hard like they had been making out for a long while, not just talking. He holds his hand there, and with Neil closer, over Alex's shoulder again, he turns and nuzzles into his neck. ]

Yeah, you have. Scary as shit, that. I love it.

[goodfight]

[The other man pulls his hand down, to a place they've been visiting rather frequently as of late. There's a kind of truth that only the body can tell, and Alex's is speaking as clear as crystal. As rain and sky.

Alex nuzzles, and Neil cannot stop his hand from squeezing, feeling contour and hardness beneath his fingers.]

Good. Are you mad I was bullying you?

[doubletap]

[ Neil grips him, and Alex cannot help the soft moan, right into Neil's skin. His hand leaves Neil's, to curl up behind Neil's neck instead, curling into the soft hairs at the base of his head.

His whole body language is open and defenseless, all for Neil to take, and Alex knows it; a part of him loves it. ]

Mmm... No.

[ His words are low and pleased, a smile. ]

Annoyed at times, but not mad. Not when you kept being more willing. Saying yes.

[goodfight]

[Another's breath on his skin has Neil shivering, has his hand tightening. Has his body moving closer to Alex's.

Alex radiates a kind of vulnerability that Neil could just eat up, and though it would be a dumbass idea to stop again for things, he can't help but think it. Want it.]

And I didn't change just because you were the only one there on that pier. It was everything you are. Everything you've done for me.

[He speaks lowly, his voice quiet.]

You're a very good influence on me.

[doubletap]

[ God his whole being longs to deny the words. He wants to so badly, but can't force them out. Instead he arches his hips up, into the hand holding him. He stretches his other hand up as well, behind his head to touch Neil's shoulder, both hands behind him now, chest arched up.

His voice is breathy without knowing it. ]

...A good influence? In sex?

[goodfight]

[Oh. If there was any doubt to where they are headed, nothing of doubt exists now.

In their nice little embrace, Neil smiles without thinking. His palm moves over the form beneath the other's pants, applying light pressure.]

Weren't you listening? In sex, in fights, in life, in everything, old man.

[doubletap]

[ Alex's eyes flutter, giving in like he never has before and not thinking a thing of it. Letting Neil do what he wants with him is all that Alex wants, and he speaks in breaths, still continuing their conversation, even as his hips rise up to press against Neil's hand harder. ]

How the fuck... am I a good influence? After everything... everyone... that I've ripped to shreds?

[ Neil's face, a memory, clear as nothing else is: A hand reaching out in the dark of the Hidden Valley bunker, no teasing or disgust, just quiet: Quiet. "It's something I understand." ]

[goodfight]

[Deed and word seem to be in direct contradiction. They move and react in want, in the prelude to sparking life, and Alex-- Alex speaks of death. Destruction.

But they're not contractions, are they? Life and death often walk hand-in-hand.]

Because I've done the same.

[Ripped out and demolished. Neil cups his hand, fingers reaching past the seam near Alex's crotch.]

But you've got that kind of reverence about the world that I can only dream of.

[doubletap]

[ There's a wanting sound in his throat, and he doesn't even think of swallowing it. Pride and all the rest? Gone and demolished. He doesn't even care. ]

...Rever-- ence?

[goodfight]

Reverence. Appreciation. Love, even.

[It exists beneath the other man's skin, hidden beneath the layer of Mojave dust, but it exists. Neil nuzzles close, breathing in Alex's scent.]

I hate the world.

[So fucking much.]

But you love it. Even I can see that.

[doubletap]

[ Neil is affectionately close, and Alex's fingers curl in his hair, loving every moment of it. The conversation swirling around him, keeping him from letting go, but dichotomies-- He's never minded them. ]

You must think... that it's dumb.

[ Loving where Neil hated. ]

[goodfight]

[Far from it. No, Neil Park--]

I'm envious.

[As he never would admit outside of this vault.]

I really wanted to love it, more than anything.

[doubletap]

[ It gentles him, this confession, and his eyes move to focus on Neil. To shift delicately, kiss the edge of his jaw. To say something utterly ridiculous, because he is not naive, but something he means all the same. ]

...Let me show you. All the things I see. You can love it, too.

[ A pause. A breath, a beat. ]

You didn't think you would love me, after all.

[goodfight]

[He shivers at the sensation of lips on his skin, at the prospect of a shared perspective, but Neil Park--]

I can't promise anything. I might not be able to.

[Not for the world. It is beyond forgiving.]

But I did end up loving you. I'm not rejecting something you love.

[doubletap]

[ He nearly forgets how they moved to this subject. Probably would have dropped it completely, but Neil is still and it allows Alex to breathe. The jury's out on me loving the world, but he already knows he can't say it. ]

All right. All right. Everything I've done, I've done for the places and the people. Nothing of my own. That's what it is-- So I love it.

[ It's not defensive, just rambling, and he circles back around. ]

How is that a good influence?

[goodfight]

[That admittance rings nicely in Neil's head. He smiles at the thought.]

Being selfless is itself a good influence. Sure, fending for yourself might get you far, but in the end, that shit won't bring any meaning to your life.

[He pulls back his hand to the belt on the assassin suit, fingering the material.]

You actually live. I just wait for life to end.