![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
Entry tags:
the story in which Alex Seattle Geer is right for hating enclosed spaces,
and Neil Park is blamed for his knowledge of vaults.
Terminal Entries:
1st Floor, Vault Entry-Room Computer:
- Data Entry 1: Year 20XX, Month XX; There's no escape.
- Holotape Entry 1: Y#4@ SDhig^8705 H98 [data corrupted]; This is hell and I want out of it.
1st Floor, Cafeteria Luncheon:
- Holotape Entry 2: Private Recording; I've had better?
1st Floor, Cafeteria Supply Room:
- Inventory List: Inventory List; A list of food....
- Data Entry 2: Shift Notes; Maybe I should tear the walls down.
1st Floor, Broken Cave:
- Data Entry 3: Preparations; Everything's fine.
- Data Entry 4: Near the End; I'll tell you the truth, but I won't give up my soul.
- Data Entry 5: Finally, the End is at Hand.; This is far enough.
1st Floor, Office:
- Data Entry 6: Vault-Wide Public Service Announcement; Get back to work everyone.
- Data Entry 7: Locked Administrative Reply; You're reaching for straws.
1st Floor, Administrative Secretary's Office:
- Data Entry 8: Drama Hoes; It is sort of funny that people aren't able to lie, though.
- Holotape Entry 3: Bill Self-Log; Byron's access still works everywhere.
Terminal Entries:
1st Floor, Vault Entry-Room Computer:
- Data Entry 1: Year 20XX, Month XX; There's no escape.
- Holotape Entry 1: Y#4@ SDhig^8705 H98 [data corrupted]; This is hell and I want out of it.
1st Floor, Cafeteria Luncheon:
- Holotape Entry 2: Private Recording; I've had better?
1st Floor, Cafeteria Supply Room:
- Inventory List: Inventory List; A list of food....
- Data Entry 2: Shift Notes; Maybe I should tear the walls down.
1st Floor, Broken Cave:
- Data Entry 3: Preparations; Everything's fine.
- Data Entry 4: Near the End; I'll tell you the truth, but I won't give up my soul.
- Data Entry 5: Finally, the End is at Hand.; This is far enough.
1st Floor, Office:
- Data Entry 6: Vault-Wide Public Service Announcement; Get back to work everyone.
- Data Entry 7: Locked Administrative Reply; You're reaching for straws.
1st Floor, Administrative Secretary's Office:
- Data Entry 8: Drama Hoes; It is sort of funny that people aren't able to lie, though.
- Holotape Entry 3: Bill Self-Log; Byron's access still works everywhere.
no subject
I don't understand.
no subject
The day I found out it takes two weeks to travel by ferry to Point Lookout, I was so sure you and ED-E would hightail it back to the Mojave. That fight, you know, by Dave's stupid Republic.
[That night beneath the stars, cold air filling their lungs.]
I said some fucked up things to you. And I was so damn sure you'd be done. With my bullshit. With me. That I was gonna come back to no one. It depressed the hell out of me. I didn't know how I was supposed to let you go. And then.
[Then--]
You walked up to me on that pier. I thought I was dreaming, seeing you in front of me. Thought you were going to kill me, but still, I was so fucking happy. You grabbed my collar, and it was better than sex.
no subject
[ Alex snorts in disbelief, eyes skittering somewhere between happy and something much being frightened as he stares. He wouldn't be able to tell you why.
He isn't able to explain to Neil, either, all of the reasons for each of the things Neil lists. They are there, he's sure, but right now, he is fucking caught, and the only thing he says is still something that's true. ]
...I won't ever be done with you.
no subject
[Alex speaks truth, and it's a repeat. An echo. And Neil will return truth with his own.]
I couldn't trust you to not walk away, until I saw that you didn't. I knew then.
no subject
[ All of these steps, and yet a "but still--" ]
Trusting someone to not walk away isn't the same as entrusting yourself into their arms. You passed out, trusting I would take care of you, but what if I couldn't? You let me carry you into that memorial, do my half-assed fixing, and what if I had made it worse?
[ He had asked something like this before, he knew. Had recommended Julie or Arcade and Neil had told him, "it had to be you." And he wasn't fighting that, not that, because he understands trust is a sliding scale, but--
But still. ]
...What if I couldn't help you? How could you trust me like that?
no subject
[The question prompts a smile and a laugh, faded and pained.]
You answered your own question a few minutes ago. You're you. Different from the norm. Even if you had failed spectacularly, you were the best and only chance I had to survive.
[Everyone else wouldn't have a clue on what to do with something like Neil.]
Alex, you waited five weeks. Just for me. You were the only one who could have saved me.
[Not just my life. Me.]
no subject
He laughs, quick and sharp; surprise, shock. Moves his hand to his mouth as if he isn't sure why he did that, then calms. Reaches out instead to touch Neil's cheek. ]
...I get it now.
[ Further-- ]
You're mine. And I'm yours. And you better always come to me for anything. I'll always try my best. To take care of you.
no subject
...Alright.
[An affirmation, then an addendum:]
You, too. I know I haven't done anything trust-inspiring, but please let me try. I want to make things better for you. Heal your--
[Neil swallows thickly, the words choking him. The words inviting rejection. Nevertheless, his lips move.]
--hurt.
no subject
Leans forward to kiss him gently, then tap their heads together. ]
You already make me feel safe, remember? I'm learning to trust you. I don't think healing is my thing, though.
no subject
I'll try.
[Dark brown eyes open, pupils focused on the fine features of Alex's face.]
Regardless, I'll try.