Alternative Methods.

[doubletap]

Has sex become repetitious? Feeling sore in certain areas? Well, good news! Your boyfriend has sent you on a quest to find different ways of having fun gay sex. Yay!

Find the following people and seek out their knowledge:

• Arcade Israel Gannon (=D)
  
• Jimmy (Westside)
  
• Old Ben (Freeside)
  
• Doctor Alex Richards (Novac)
  
• Ignacio Rivas (Helios One)

Good luck, Wanderer!

Comments

[duraframe]

Buzzes! How rude!

Such a rude Angry-armor-glasses. Especially as ED-E had never done a thing to Arcade. But regardless, he has a Neil to admonish.

Alex would go with you anywhere. And I could come with! Are you leaving us out?

[goodfight]

Neil waves once as Arcade exits, waiting for the precise moment when the man is out of earshot.

"Wooooooow." He crosses his arms, weight shifting to favor one side. "It's like a robot took a piss in his cereal when he was a tot or something." Though the truth's probably more serious. One doesn't show that much venom without a frickin' good reason.

A sigh escapes his lips. His mind shoves the mystery to the back-burner for another time.

Neil then considers ED-E, pausing for a minute to translate in his head. "Oh, I wasn't leaving you guys out on purpose," Neil says. "I though you were with Alex, actually. As for the old man..." He smiles, the look almost nostalgic. "He probably needs a little air after being stuck with me in a vault for two weeks."

[duraframe]

ED-E burbles happily.

You're smiling.

[goodfight]

Turning bright red at a child. This is kinda new.

Neil sputters, somehow managing composure a beat later. He clears his throat. "That noticeable, huh?"

[duraframe]

Noticeable, he trills happily.

Then moves to buzz in a circle around him. No one wants a break from you. Not me, not Alex.

[goodfight]

Ah, fuck. Have a grin, ED-E.

"That doesn't mean you guys don't need a break," he says. "Are you really that worried 'bout me?"

[duraframe]

Yes! is the enthusiastic beep.

It was so hard to find you. You keep moving around.

[goodfight]

Yes. Something something hard to find something keep moving around.

"Well, they call me the Lone Wanderer for a reason," jokes Neil, straightening. "Though today, I'm, err, running an errand for Alex. So I've been all over the damn place."

[duraframe]

An excited buzz.

For Alex? What errand? I want to help!

[goodfight]

Wait. Bad idea. Bad, bad idea.

"Whoa, ED-E." Hands go up, palms out. "This ain't a kid-friendly errand. That's why Dogmeat's at Gibson's right now."

Because seeing his precious child while trying to discuss scandalous topics is a surefire way to make everything super-duper awkward. Alex's precious child would also provoke the same reaction.

[duraframe]

A moment of quiet buzzing, ED-E hovering up and down in thought. Not kid-friendly. ED-E knows that Neil and Alex think of him as something young--he's already eight years old! But he doesn't really mind. But here, he wonders.

What is it?

[goodfight]

ED-E sobers. The moment's enough, just right enough for Neil to at least answer honestly.

"Alex wants me to learn from folks on how to be better at this lovey-dovey stuff," he explains in careful words. "Seeing how we both kinda never had, um, an actual partner. Romantic partner."

The last clarification's there just in case the eyebot thinks he's talking about general friendship.

[duraframe]

Lovey-dovey? Like--

Oh! Like when you mate, he buzzes sagely.

[goodfight]

And there's that awkward. Neil succeeds in keeping his normal coloring.

Which ultimately means another function fails, and he starts sputtering.

[duraframe]

ED-E feels proud and bobs up and down.

You didn't need to go looking. I could help!

And thus plays a clip of a female moaning.

[goodfight]

Holy shit. That joke about ED-E recording "relations" isn't a joke at all. Neil stares at the kid, mouth comically agape. When he gets over that ridiculousness, he tries not to bust out laughing.

Ah, fuck it. He's going to start choking on his own laughter now.

[duraframe]

Ah, wait, wait, right. Alex and Neil are both males. Maybe just playing back something from the past then.

The woman cuts off. In its place is a male, panting hard, inter-spaced with quiet groans.

...It's obviously Neil's voice.

[goodfight]

Aaand that laughter's turning to a pained yelp.

"...You didn't." Neil groans, the reality of his own reactions being played back hitting him like a sack of marbles. "You did, ah, goddamn it. ED-E, why?"

[duraframe]

Happy burble.

[goodfight]

He presses both palms to his eyes.

"Dude. Bro. That...only tells me that I sound freaking retarded." A pause. "And I hope you haven't clued Alex in on this particular recording. Or, fuck, others."

[duraframe]

Ah, right. Right. Neil would rather learn from a different person more than himself.

So instead he plays Alex. Giving the distinct sounds he does when he finishes.

[goodfight]

Oh. Now there's a strangled sound from the one wishing he had remained blissfully ignorant up to this point. Plus, his efforts to keep his normal coloring are just gone. Gone and gone.

[duraframe]

Happy burble again. And now that they are alone, ED-E bobs forward, butting Neil lightly in his most friendly manner.

[goodfight]

The benign contact has Neil peering upward at the eyebot.

"So," Neil starts. "You got every single time we were doing it?"

[duraframe]

No, he answers easily.

Then adds, You're together too much to record it all.