the pier.

[doubletap]

Let him just say it now--the kid had a lot of problems.

I mean, not really a surprise or anything--Alex had found him dried out in a desert, for crying out loud--but god damn.

Let’s recap.

Alex Seattle Geer found himself in love with a Vault brat from the Capital Wasteland with a daddy complex the size of Hoover Dam. Said kid loves him back--sometimes. Said kid would probably rather put another bullet between Alex’s eyes rather than spend time with him, and didn’t this just go to show it. Neil leaves to check up a rumor, said he’d be back shortly--shortly became two days and by then Dogmeat was back, meaning Neil took off somewhere he was worried the dog would get hurt at. Two days turn into two weeks and counting, and by then, Alex has tracked Neil’s steps, found the fucking pier, the fucking tool of a woman looking for her child, and all of the pieces are too easily placed.

Neil left for Point Lookout. And Alex, ED-E, and Dogmeat are left hanging in the wind.

Alex has been fucking camping on the dirty sand and shit next to that pier, waiting for that stupid kid to come back on that stupid ferry the woman told him about. Tobar the fucking Ferryman, and Alex feels like shooting the asshole just for submitting to Neil’s request. Probably not the guy’s fault, but-- Hell. Yeah. He didn’t traipse all over the goddamn country just to be left in the dust. Is the kid even coming back? Who fucking knows.

Alex will just.

Wait here.

Until Neil comes back.

Yeah, that’s not pathetic at all.

Comments

[doubletap]

"I'm a little worn-down," he starts. "And I'm not really sure where to go next." Something that the impeccable Courier has never stated. "I'm upset by a lot." Things he would put off saying for the time being. "And I wish that I knew how to help more." For everyone involved.

His arms tighten on Neil, though, and he kisses the corner of his mouth. "But I'm happy. You're right here with me and being open, and I'm happy."

I'm really, really happy.

[goodfight]

Uncertainty. Alex has never admitted to such an emotion. He always seemed so sure of what he was going to do; it was almost enviable to Neil, to someone who never quite understood where the hell he was heading toward in life. It would disturb a number of people, hearing uncertainty from this man.

But Neil is only concerned, even as Alex says he's happy. As he continues to give affection. Neil only thinks he should perhaps do something.

"Do you need anything? Something I can provide?"

[doubletap]

There are a thousand ways to answer this. Alex starts with one.

"You want to offer me that?"

[goodfight]

The answer is straightforward. Uncomplicated.

"Yeah, of course," says Neil.

[doubletap]

The answer is complicated. It's not straightforward. Because-- "This is different, you know," he states. "You offering this."

He doesn't move from his position on the bed, holding the kid, but Alex wonders. "Can I ask why?"

[goodfight]

That's true. This offering does not come very often, if at all, from one they call the Lone Wanderer. Especially Neil Park the Lone Wanderer. Alex is perhaps right to ask why.

"I don't usually say things I need to," begins Neil hesitantly, "and I feel like doing something for you is better than just telling you that I..." He's said this before, in the quaint motel room in Novac. It shouldn't be so difficult to say. "That I love you. My own words feel cheap."

Compared to the other. Compared to what actions might reveal.

[doubletap]

Alex listens patiently, then wonders at this line of events. Wonders why, when Neil is bedridden and went through some kind of hell, that he wants to do something for Alex. "Why do you want to do something for me, though? I'm fine right now."

[goodfight]

Heat rises to his head, but it's not entirely from the fever. Neither is it from embarrassment. This is an unknown affect, even to Neil. "I just... I just want to be kind to you. For once." As opposed to being in conflict, marked occasionally by moments of attrition.

[doubletap]

There is warmth again. Something from nothing. And despite what Neil says, despite the irregularity and nearly precious quality of it, the kid does not understand.

The arm Neil is laying against curls to hold him closer, pressing palm flat against his back. "...You do know that this is being good to me, right? You're talking to me without arguing, you're letting me hold you, and you're not fighting me at all. That's a kindness in itself, right?"

[goodfight]

Acceptance, according to Alex, is a kindness. Somehow, Neil considers if this is sufficient. Perhaps Alex is that simple. Maybe there is nothing more that needs to be done.

He allows the motion to bring him closer to the other and watches the curve of Alex's throat. "Guess you're right," gives Neil. "Just feel inadequate, that's all."

[doubletap]

To the muttering child, Alex reaches a hand to tilt Neil's chin up so he can look at him. "If you feel like you should do something," he says quietly. "Why don't you start by doing something you don't often do?"

[goodfight]

Neil's brought to look at Alex, and somehow, the gesture adds a kind of lucidity he wouldn't have otherwise. The older man asks that he does something he wouldn't often do, and the younger gets it. Slowly, almost languidly, he lifts a hand to cup Alex's cheek.

It's goddamn baby steps, but it'll do.

[doubletap]

Alex smiles at the touch, and turns to kiss Neil's wrist.

[goodfight]

Neil finds himself idly tracing a finger against the other's cheekbone, feeling the contour and the skin. Something about the gesture, somewhere in the darkest pit of himself, comforts him. Heals a portion he didn't know is hurt. Alex smiles in a way that makes Neil question himself. Wonder why he doesn't just fucking give in to this.

With that, he leans closer toward Alex's face, to carefully touch lips with like.

[doubletap]

Alex expected the act to stop with that--at least from Neil. But Neil continues to touch him, and something in Alex responds to that.

Something in him realizes that it's not often that others offer him the affection that he so freely gives.

He would have thought about that, perhaps. Considered what that meant and what that would continue to mean. But Neil leans up, against him, and moves to kiss him.

Alex is surprised for a moment, enough that he lets it happen without responding. A second, a breath, then he kisses back, his arm tightening around the kid's back.

[goodfight]

Of all things, Neil has never offered such an act. One may call it abstinence, celibacy, lack of interest, or just plain unnatural-- He has never thought to give affection to another willingly. Love is messy. So, too, are its actions.

For the moment, however, as he kisses Alex and the other reciprocates, Neil thinks he might have been mistaken. At least with this act. At least with this man. It's as kind as anyone ever wants it to be. It's just too bad. Just really too bad that he's understanding it now.

He breathes in, taking in scent and sensations, before breaking. Before looking at Alex with an air of somberness.

[doubletap]

Alex's face is flushed. From a fucking kiss. He breathes out shakily, then gives a quiet laugh. "...That bad?" he wonders. "You look pretty serious."

[goodfight]

Bad? "Not at all." There is stark evidence of affect in the other man, and it's pleasing to the eye. "No, just..."

Neil remembers to breathe, to remember the traces of the other man in the shared air between them. "Thanks," he says, "for putting up with me." With his bullshit and his worthlessness. For waiting for him at that pier.

[doubletap]

Dismissing the thanks would come as easy, but that's not what is needed here. He reaches to touch the hand on his face, roughened fingers curling against Neil's own. "You're worth it," he says easily, smiling again. "Don't forget that."

[goodfight]

Alex smiles easily. He keeps to a repeat request as he places his hand against Neil's, and the latter doesn't know what to say. It isn't as if Neil will forget. It's more pride. Fear. All the negative aspects that might cause him to falter.

Still. "I'll try," he gives.

[doubletap]

This moment is nice, and he'd like to hold to it. He wonders, then. "The story I was going to tell you isn't a happy one," he says, off-subject. "Did you want to talk about something else? California? Energy weapons?"

Or do you want what I have to say? Alex half-wishes Neil will ask for something else.

[goodfight]

Neil thinks to retort that most of their tales lack that crucial component in all happy stories. There exists no need, however, for the observation. He needs only to give an honest answer.

"I would rather hear what you have to say." The nature of the story does not matter.

[doubletap]

Alex gives a small nod, then leans his head on his shoulder. "Remember before we left, back in Novac? I told you there were worse things than not eating well--or nearly at all. You learned that, it seems. Existing off of chems and meds. I did, too, once."

Remember me telling you that?

[goodfight]

Back in Novac, they had discussed lack while Neil drunkenly ate food. Of course, he would remember.

"I do," he replies, eyes again fixed on the ceiling. "You said you were trapped somewhere for over a week." Without the bare necessities.

[doubletap]

"Yeah." Good, the kid remembers. Alex gives a wry look from his position, knowing this would narrow the story down. "You still got that gold bar I gave you somewhere?"