the pier.

[doubletap]

Let him just say it now--the kid had a lot of problems.

I mean, not really a surprise or anything--Alex had found him dried out in a desert, for crying out loud--but god damn.

Let’s recap.

Alex Seattle Geer found himself in love with a Vault brat from the Capital Wasteland with a daddy complex the size of Hoover Dam. Said kid loves him back--sometimes. Said kid would probably rather put another bullet between Alex’s eyes rather than spend time with him, and didn’t this just go to show it. Neil leaves to check up a rumor, said he’d be back shortly--shortly became two days and by then Dogmeat was back, meaning Neil took off somewhere he was worried the dog would get hurt at. Two days turn into two weeks and counting, and by then, Alex has tracked Neil’s steps, found the fucking pier, the fucking tool of a woman looking for her child, and all of the pieces are too easily placed.

Neil left for Point Lookout. And Alex, ED-E, and Dogmeat are left hanging in the wind.

Alex has been fucking camping on the dirty sand and shit next to that pier, waiting for that stupid kid to come back on that stupid ferry the woman told him about. Tobar the fucking Ferryman, and Alex feels like shooting the asshole just for submitting to Neil’s request. Probably not the guy’s fault, but-- Hell. Yeah. He didn’t traipse all over the goddamn country just to be left in the dust. Is the kid even coming back? Who fucking knows.

Alex will just.

Wait here.

Until Neil comes back.

Yeah, that’s not pathetic at all.

Comments

[goodfight]

A hand cradles his head. Another's body and lips press closer his in want, and Neil can only take the gestures. Accept his affections. There's nothing else until life shifts in its ever-changing state.

There's only a meager promise. An apology given a beat later than was due.

[doubletap]

Out of nowhere, Alex chuckles against Neil's lips, breathless. "You're supposed to be resting," he chides.

[goodfight]

A beat passes as Neil attempts to make sense of the statement, of that reaction. He finally blinks, wishing he could shrug in the usual dramatic fashion. "This isn't resting?" he says, feigning ignorance.

For a beat only. "I think I can try to sleep for a bit," is the continuance, serious this time.

[doubletap]

Here, Alex will give an exceedingly familiar look. "It becomes the very opposite of resting."

He shifts away, leaning again on an elbow, keeping his other hand resting on Neil's hip. "Do you want to, though?"

[goodfight]

Neil snorts, or what counts as snorting given his weakened state.

At the query, however, he turns again toward the ceiling, eyelids fluttering against the dim lighting. "No," he admits. "But it doesn't matter. I'm going to sleep eventually." At some point, he will have to go back to Hell.

[doubletap]

As if he can't stop touching Neil, Alex reaches out again, to trace Neil's jaw. Maybe it's because the kid isn't fighting. Maybe it's because Neil isn't hiding things or being pissed off. It's nice. Alex wants it, and there's some kind of loss in thinking about what spawned all this.

"Well," he says. "I can leave you to sleep, or I can tell you a story, I guess." Something to distract from the nightmares in Neil's brain.

[goodfight]

His heart drums at the hand moving against his jaw, at the choice Alex presents. Neil's head desires the chance of a story, an ancient indulgence, while his propriety works overtime to come up with a way to request it without sounding...well, pathetic.

The attempt fails. Spectacularly. "Story please," is the instant response.

[doubletap]

The honesty is charming. Alex likes it a lot. He shifts closer to Neil, nudging him over. Then slips an arm under his neck. "If it doesn't hurt, c'mere, then."

Let Alex hold you while he speaks.

[goodfight]

The closer proximity allows the full force of his reaction to hit Neil, and as he shifts into Alex's arms, he noticeably blushes. "...It's been a long month," says Neil, attempting composure. "And you don't really tell me much stories."

Thus, he got overly excited.

[doubletap]

The heightened reactions weren't expected, and as Neil fully blushes, stammering over his explanation--one that Alex hadn't asked for--Alex wishes he could love him properly.

Resents what made that impossible for now.

Neil comes into his arms freely, and Alex leans down, cutting him off on the tail end of his last word by kissing him deeply.

[goodfight]

A few words and shifting earn Neil a kiss, and it takes all of himself not to lose his practiced composure, his false calm. He grips Alex's forearm, fingers pressing lightly into the other's skin, before pulling his head back from the kiss. "What?" he questions.

[doubletap]

"I love you," he says instantly.

And I want to make you happy.

"And that word doesn't mean enough to tell you how I really feel."

[goodfight]

That phrase... It has been repeated several times over throughout the course of this disaster. Neil has to wonder, maybe, if it's perhaps Alex who has been affected the most.

"Are you okay?" he asks, voice broadcasting his concern.

[doubletap]

"I'm a little worn-down," he starts. "And I'm not really sure where to go next." Something that the impeccable Courier has never stated. "I'm upset by a lot." Things he would put off saying for the time being. "And I wish that I knew how to help more." For everyone involved.

His arms tighten on Neil, though, and he kisses the corner of his mouth. "But I'm happy. You're right here with me and being open, and I'm happy."

I'm really, really happy.

[goodfight]

Uncertainty. Alex has never admitted to such an emotion. He always seemed so sure of what he was going to do; it was almost enviable to Neil, to someone who never quite understood where the hell he was heading toward in life. It would disturb a number of people, hearing uncertainty from this man.

But Neil is only concerned, even as Alex says he's happy. As he continues to give affection. Neil only thinks he should perhaps do something.

"Do you need anything? Something I can provide?"

[doubletap]

There are a thousand ways to answer this. Alex starts with one.

"You want to offer me that?"

[goodfight]

The answer is straightforward. Uncomplicated.

"Yeah, of course," says Neil.

[doubletap]

The answer is complicated. It's not straightforward. Because-- "This is different, you know," he states. "You offering this."

He doesn't move from his position on the bed, holding the kid, but Alex wonders. "Can I ask why?"

[goodfight]

That's true. This offering does not come very often, if at all, from one they call the Lone Wanderer. Especially Neil Park the Lone Wanderer. Alex is perhaps right to ask why.

"I don't usually say things I need to," begins Neil hesitantly, "and I feel like doing something for you is better than just telling you that I..." He's said this before, in the quaint motel room in Novac. It shouldn't be so difficult to say. "That I love you. My own words feel cheap."

Compared to the other. Compared to what actions might reveal.

[doubletap]

Alex listens patiently, then wonders at this line of events. Wonders why, when Neil is bedridden and went through some kind of hell, that he wants to do something for Alex. "Why do you want to do something for me, though? I'm fine right now."

[goodfight]

Heat rises to his head, but it's not entirely from the fever. Neither is it from embarrassment. This is an unknown affect, even to Neil. "I just... I just want to be kind to you. For once." As opposed to being in conflict, marked occasionally by moments of attrition.

[doubletap]

There is warmth again. Something from nothing. And despite what Neil says, despite the irregularity and nearly precious quality of it, the kid does not understand.

The arm Neil is laying against curls to hold him closer, pressing palm flat against his back. "...You do know that this is being good to me, right? You're talking to me without arguing, you're letting me hold you, and you're not fighting me at all. That's a kindness in itself, right?"

[goodfight]

Acceptance, according to Alex, is a kindness. Somehow, Neil considers if this is sufficient. Perhaps Alex is that simple. Maybe there is nothing more that needs to be done.

He allows the motion to bring him closer to the other and watches the curve of Alex's throat. "Guess you're right," gives Neil. "Just feel inadequate, that's all."

[doubletap]

To the muttering child, Alex reaches a hand to tilt Neil's chin up so he can look at him. "If you feel like you should do something," he says quietly. "Why don't you start by doing something you don't often do?"

[goodfight]

Neil's brought to look at Alex, and somehow, the gesture adds a kind of lucidity he wouldn't have otherwise. The older man asks that he does something he wouldn't often do, and the younger gets it. Slowly, almost languidly, he lifts a hand to cup Alex's cheek.

It's goddamn baby steps, but it'll do.