Election Day

[goodfight]

[Once upon a time, blah, blah, blah, and thus, the Lone Wanderer brings a stray named the Courier from the not-so-radioactive Mojave Wasteland back into the highly radioactive Capital Wasteland.

It has proven to be the worst idea in the history of all ideas. A wanderer and his dog could go into a town and the town would live their silly lives without a care. Two wanderers, a dog, and an eyebot are, to say the least, a walking disaster. Neil really should have kept the tour restricted to Megaton. Neil, however, has been keeping his mouth shut on the matter because a part of him finds the venture very entertaining.

And so the duo are now on their way to the Republic of Dave, a settlement to the north of Washington, D.C. At nineteen, Neil had set foot in the place once and once only. Then, after speaking with its "citizens", he hightailed it out of there as soon as he got what he came for. The place is the headquarters of a cult in the guise of a democracy, the leader has as big of an ego as Eden, and Neil doesn't know why they're going back there.

He says as much to Alex.]

I still don't know why I'm going back there.

[A pointed look to the older man.]

And taking you with me.

Comments

[doubletap]

[ Said Courier is somewhat watching where he steps, a lip partially curled in distaste. The man looks up as the younger speaks, something of hope in his eyes. ]

Because it's less radioactive than your shit home?

[goodfight]

Oh.

[He throws up his arms, Pa's Fishing Aid still tightly clasped on one hand.]

I'm sorry you have an issue with my radioactive home in the midst of a nuclear fallout. I'll be sure to douse it in RadAway next time for your convenience.

[doubletap]

If there was at least a livable area somewhere in that shack it would be fine.

[ He stares at the wasteland, wondering when he realized the lack of trees here. ]

Can't really even camp outside here. Half of the locals are irradiated.

[goodfight]

[There is a sound of agreement.]

Camping's kinda boring anyway. Also, I think--

[He squints into the distance, noting the metal frames of shacks.]

--we're almost there.

[doubletap]

[ Ah, so their lovely whining conversation comes to an end. Alex whistles to ED-E; the eyebot lowers its function from aggressive scanning to defensive mode for entering the town. For Alex, the man only sighs. ]

Only if you don't know how to camp. There's a lot to see at night.

[ And a lack of people. C'mon, Neil; Alex knows you like that~ ]

[goodfight]

[The insinuation is the truth: Neil cannot rightfully camp. Doesn't know how to make a fire, catch a fish, sleep under the stars. No one's ever taught him, not even James. When father and son hiked nearly the full length of the Captial Wasteland, they hadn't stopped once, even to piss.

But that is neither here nor there. Neil shrugs and walks toward the recognizable gate.]

I can see a lot just walking past them.

[doubletap]

[ He takes a double-step to bring him in line with Neil and claps a hand onto the other's shoulder.

If Neil turns to look at him, he will see Alex smiling in a cajoling way. ]

That's because you need to slow down. Come with me some time.

[goodfight]

[Anyone else, Neil might have responded with the shotgun. With Alex, the younger man simply looks at and then quickly away, as if the smile or the touch is unwanted. Or more wanted than he cares to give away.

Dogmeat barks at the sight of others, drawing Neil's thoughts back into reality.]

And camp? Where?

[doubletap]

[ He removes his hand smugly, giving Neil his wanted space. He whistles a different tone at ED-E, putting the eyebot into active scanning. ED-E beeps a reply. ]

You let me worry about that, savior of the wastes.

[goodfight]

[He shoots a dirty look to Alex at the title, narrowing his eyes further as the other man whistles to the eyebot.

Another's voice, however, draws away Neil's attention, toward a young girl standing just behind the gate.]

Hey, you. Stop! What do you want from the Republic of Dave?

[He smirks, all teeth. She's one of Dave's. One of many of Dave's.]

I'm an Ambassador from the Wasteland. I'd like to meet Dave--err, President Dave.

[doubletap]

[ Oh, look a small creature as a guard. This scenario became less and less thrilling as time went by.

Alex, amazingly, left Neil to his goals. Instead the man whistled a complicated series of sounds.

ED-E returned with a similar series. This wasn't to make Neil paranoid, no, no, not at all. He saw those narrowed eyes. ]

[goodfight]

President Daddy didn't say anything about-- Oh!

[Her eyes blink in recognition.]

You're that guy! That Ambassador, I mean. Didn't President Daddy give you his--

[Neil is about to stop her, especially after overhearing the high-pitched exchange between the other man and his eyebot, but she shifts by herself.]

Wait. You.

[The little girl points to Alex.]

Who're you?

[doubletap]

[ Oh god. This was being handed to him. Entirely handed to him like a holiday treat, and that just took all the fun out of it, didn't it?

Oh. Well. Not really.

There's no glance at Neil, to checking to see if he would be fucking something up. He only looked around exaggeratedly, then pointed at his chest, mouthing, "me?"

Well, shouldn't it be obvious? ]

Well, shouldn't it be obvious?

[ His mind ran through a few different scenarios, matching the most viable and entertaining to the correct situation--and Wasteland. Which left-- ]

I'm his android bodyguard. Like this guy.

[ A thumb point to ED-E. He lowers his tone conspiratorially. ]

...'cept I'm really a cyborg instead.

[goodfight]

Oooooh, what's a cyborg?

[She watches in awe, thoroughly taken in by the idea of such a being she has no clue about. And who can blame her? She believes her dad is the rightfully-elected sovereign of a country named after him, for Pete's sake.

Alex, on the other hand... Neil watches the other out of the corner of his eye before finally shaking his head. He cannot shut down the android-bodyguard-who's-really-a-cyborg-instead because half of that ridiculous introduction is true. Alex Geer is a cyborg. One, because he said as much. Two, because Neil smartly ignored Alex in favor of his own expertise in human biology. Any medical doctor after several months of apathetic observation could figure it out--the older man runs on something partly inhuman.

Besides, things are coming along as expected. Neil means this venture to be a tour, and a tour sometimes requires playing pretend.

He clears his throat dramatically, interrupting the exchange.]

If you could just take us to the President now, that would be most appreciative. My manservant and I have a lot of track to cover before the next sunrise.

[The girl cants her head, eyes darting between the fascinating cyborg bodyguard and his charge. Finally, she goes to undo the locks and open the door.]

Okay, but you better let President Daddy know about your cybowhatsit bodything, or you're both in danger of getting kicked out.

[doubletap]

[ The girl turns to the locks and Alex strides forward, taking the opening to cop a feel on Neil's ass as he passes. Mid-stride, he glances back, waggling his eyebrows. The calm remark is only moderately lowered in tone. ]

Manservant. That's a new invitation.

[goodfight]

[There is a hand at rear, an act that calls for retribution or at the very least, a reaction. His passes for mild: Neil stiffens momentarily, fighting successfully against the red threatening to invade his skin, to give Alex what he thinks is a most appropriate answer.

His tone is even.]

Maybe if you're good at it, that can be more than an invitation.

[As the girl is preoccupied with opening the gate, Neil takes the second to delicately bat his eyelashes at Alex, before following the other man into the Republic of Dave.]

To the back house, Manservant, and do be quick about it!

[doubletap]

[ Ohh... An actual invitation. How rare. Alex's eyebrows raise higher.

Only to laugh at the second. He reaches to snag the shorter man by the elbow, giving no leeway for escape. Well, maybe. Neil is horrifically strong. ]

Your bodyguard requires your safety first, sir. If you'll accompany me...~

[goodfight]

[The actual invitation might have downgraded to a mere hopeful if the Lone Wanderer hadn't locked himself into participation. Instead, he allows himself to be dragged away, his lips locked into a frown.]

Oh, so my safety's suddenly a priority, huh? Was it also a priority when that Super Mutant nearly took off my head and you were nowhere to be seen?

[Which isn't true, per se. Alex would have been there, if such a there had actually happened, watching with great enthusiasm. This, Neil is most certain.]

[doubletap]

[ Conversationally, as he matches Neil's tone: ]

I didn't know that you were so into roleplay. There were a few things that could have been tried already. However, that Super Mutant was none of my concern, young master. I was delicing your mutt as you requested.

[ Smile, smile. ]

[goodfight]

Heh.

[His lips pull briefly into a smirk.]

You've only begun to scratch the surface, Mr. Geer, and by golly, old chap, I told you to do that five days ago!

[He pokes a gloved hand against the other's temple.]

When we get back, me and your memory module are going to have a talk.

[doubletap]

By golly, old chap, huh.

[ This is said in the same conversational tone as to not raise suspicions of others. Meanwhile Alex is scratching along his jawbone. ]

How about you can look into whatever of mine that you want as long as I can culture you up a bit. Do more than just scratch the surface.

[ ...Yeah. Take that however you want. What the ever. ]

[goodfight]

[The denizens of the so-called republic pass by with wary stares and mutters, but they seem generally uninterested in the pair and largely unaware of their conversation. Therefore, Neil takes the risk and snorts at the innuendo.]

That's if you can sell me on your idea of culture, old man.

[Everything else regarding the exchange, however, stops at the door. Neil turns to Dogmeat, who has been happily following along, his tongue stupidly flapping out of his mouth.]

Stay, Dogmeat! Don't move until I come back!

[The dog freezes in his motions, as if shocked by the command. He then looks up to whine at his owner, who attempts to break free of Alex's hold to pet the damn pathetic dog.]

[doubletap]

[ Which, of course, works because of Neil's damn inhuman strength. Alex shrugs and leans back, watching judgmentally at the act. At the damn pathetic owner petting the damn pathetic dog. ]

Why do you leave him anywhere? You seem to have an unnatural fixation on your canine friend.

[goodfight]

[Neil ignores the judging to straighten as well as suppress the need to scratch the dog's ears.]

Because our fun will be ruined when Dogmeat decides to tear out President Dave's throat at my inevitable annoyance. Also, there's nothing unnatural about my affections.

[doubletap]

ED-E.

[ Alex does a high whistle and the eyebot lets out a soft sounding sad beep. Alex yawns and turns to Neil, playful tones vanishing with the lack of witnesses. ]

There's a lot unnatural about all of this. But let's get it over with.

[ Meanwhile ED-E was floating near to Dogmeat, trilling a stanza hopefully. ]