more ways to break.

[dovahfahdon]

[ Two men settle around a table, low and wooden, rough along the edges. Alain Ebon has made it months ago, but the other man across from him likely doesn't know that.

There's a beat, a moment. Alain thinks to offer. ]

Is there anything you'd like to eat?

Comments

[putrefaction]

[Laughter dies eventually. Humor as well. In the end, Nigel has only his apathy.]

I'm envious, really. Marriage is so straightforward in this world. It's more complicated where we come from.

[He inhales sharply.]

I can't just marry him.

[dovahfahdon]

[ The frown continues, brows creasing in disagreement. ]

How marriage could be complicated I cannot even fathom. Even so, I'll still claim the same.

[ An eyebrow raises-- Are you really going to argue with him over this? It's something perfectly simple. ]

You can marry him. You likely should.

[putrefaction]

[It is likely for the best that Alain cannot fathom the complexities of American marriage. The claim, on the other hand, causes Nigel to feel conflicted.]

I should? How do you figure that?

[dovahfahdon]

It isn't natural to want to solidify a bond with one you're closest with?

[ ...If only Niall heard you say that, Alain.... ]

[putrefaction]

[He would be ecstatic, just saying.]

...Perhaps. Would that make things better between us, though?

[And kill the insecurities built from proximity.]

[dovahfahdon]

[ The child gets a solid look. ]

It would make it harder for you to run away.

[putrefaction]

[Anyone else? Nigel would play the sardonic clown. Alain? Is scary and therefore deserves a bout of awkward.]

Um. You noticed.

[dovahfahdon]

[ Anyone else, Alain would quickly lose his patience with and cease the conversation. His This child is another story. ]

I noticed.

[putrefaction]

[It angers him for reasons unsaid. That he can be so obvious shows in his features.]

I can't help it, and it's not like I run away permanently.

[dovahfahdon]

And yet you create pain. And the loss you seem to hate.

[putrefaction]

Yes, Mr. Blatancy-Is-What-I-Do-Best. I know that.

[Oh, wonderful. He just insulted the Dragonborn. Have more affect in his features before he stares at his feet.]

...Sorry.

[dovahfahdon]

[ Staring.

Staring for a long, long few minutes. The Dragonborn disapproves. Understands, but disapproves utterly. ]

...Is it your nature to lash out with words when hurt? It's a habit you'd do well to break.

[putrefaction]

[It's a chastisement that works. Nigel nearly flinches, in fact.]

I don't know, Alain. I really don't. Probably?

[Maybe.]

I'm sorry for being so rude.

[dovahfahdon]

[ What a hopeless child. The Dragonborn sees the cracks and fissures, watches them well. Alain has siblings, three younger, and he is reminded of them all. For even their bright moments had remained shadowed, casting a veil over all that they did. He's reminded, and does not want to be. So he moves differently, for there is no risk here that a child close to him--

Will be sacrificed, taken, used against him--

And despite Nigel not being as young as his sisters, as small, Alain still steps forward, touches the other's dark hair before slipping arms around the other in a light embrace.

It is a breach of bounds. But they are family, all the same. ]

[putrefaction]

[He expects acknowledgement. Silence. A myriad of reactions and responses appropriate for a being like Alain and their relation to each other. Nigel prefers calm and quiet when given the choice, a peaceful death over a downward spiral.

Given the choice, he needs a breach of bounds, a line to be crossed. And that is what Alain does. He steps over to take Nigel into his arms, as a parent would a child. The embrace is light and easily broken, but nothing within him would push away this comfort, and it is here he would fall into a kind of childish shame.

Nigel begins to cry in silence, in frustration and sadness.]

[dovahfahdon]

[ The man tries to remember the last time he's touched a human in kindness. The last time he has reached to another in closeness and care. It escapes him, the answer, and when the child doesn't push him away, Alain takes Nigel into his arms more.

...Notes the wet against his leathers, but allows the child his pride. ]

[putrefaction]

[Give Nigel but a moment, and he will recover. The silence, the frustration, and the sadness soon slip away, disappearing from his being in the way of tears. Alain holds him further but goes no farther, and it helps. It helps.

Finally, Nigel loses the need. He reaches upward to dry his eyes.]

Could you not tell Alan about this? The, um, crying, I mean.

[dovahfahdon]

[ He releases when Nigel moves, but stays close as if to support. When the other speaks, Alain graces Nigel with a brief smile. ]

What tears?

[ Though grant the Dragonborn his interest. ]

Would that man be upset if you expressed your pain?

[putrefaction]

[Thank god for this man.]

...Exactly. Thanks.

[He breathes deep before addressing the Dragonborn's interest.]

Likely. I'm still working on the reasons.

[dovahfahdon]

[ Frown. Frown frown frown. Again, the Dragonborn disapproves of the answer heard. ]

Alan would be upset at that? I cannot accept him as a separate self if he's so disregarding to his partner's pain.

[ No comment, it's not conscious, SHUT UP. ]

[putrefaction]

[Silence. Then:]

I don't think he disregards my pain. I think my pain affects him.

[dovahfahdon]

[ This is simpler. ]

If it affects him, then he would likely want to help you--support you.

[ Alain eyes Nigel. It's a curiosity but one now more obvious. What Alain stated is likely unwanted.

But why? ]

[putrefaction]

[An unspoken question hovers between them, one Nigel is torn on answering.]

I cannot forget.

[A beat passes.]

Every day, every minute, every moment of my waking life-- I cannot escape remembering. It has been that way since my birth.

[Living as a prisoner of memory.]

You heal through forgetting, someone once told me. You learn to forgive by letting go. There is neither help nor support for someone who lacks the capacity. Alan is wasting his time.

[dovahfahdon]

You are a fool twice over, child.

[ Said gently, despite this. ]

[putrefaction]

[Child? What? Looks sad.]

Likely.