you can never break the chain.

[purification]

[ AWKKKKKWAAAARRRR-- Hi.

...Hi. >///>; ]

So I was told, uh. To babysit you.

Comments

[atrabilis]

[Looks up from reading a book about marketing systems in 12 B.C. Jerusalem, an incredulous look on his face.]

...Was that a serious statement?

[purification]

[ MORE AWKWARD. =D;

Glancing to the side. ]

...I was told to look after you for a while.

[ "LOOK AT NIGREDO," was the actual command. ]

[atrabilis]

[Suspicious...]

...And you did not think to question the request?

[purification]

[ Aaaaand now faint blushing. ]

...I wanted to see you.

[atrabilis]

[Here, the boy blinks. As if caught unaware.]

Ah.

[Awkward...]

I apologize. I wasn't expecting a visit.

[purification]

...I wouldn't want you to expect me. That wouldn't be best for either of us.

[ Or their partners. ]

But I would never say no to an offer of meeting with you. Nigredo.

[atrabilis]

True.

[For multiple reasons. He smiles.]

That's weird. I'm not the most entertaining host, you know. I suppose I should be glad you feel that way.

[purification]

[ He wants to move near, raise his hand to the child's head and touch soft strands.

...He delays the losing battle. Murmurs words instead. ]

...You look good smiling. I haven't seen that often.

[atrabilis]

[Oh. A compliment. It's sincere.

Nigredo is blushing for reasons he cannot name himself.]

I-- Er, I've been told that I'm serious.

[purification]

[ Alan nearly smiles, before catching himself. He has learned from the past two interactions what Nigredo deems insulting. The boy has fought to present himself as an adult, and anything deemed to undermine that claims itself as sharply unwanted.

It does not remain the only reason Alan treats Nigredo with respect. The man treads nearer, watching more openly now. ]

You're serious, yes. Because you have things important to you. But you have joy as well, and when you show it--

[ --You're beautiful. ]

...It's nice.

[atrabilis]

[Alan is incredibly distinct in his words, and Nigredo has the sensation of bemusement. Bemusement and a sufficient amount of embarrassment.

The blush is turning bright red.]

Um... I, um...

[He clears his throat. He must appear unflustered before this man.]

I just thought it was more nice that you thought of me.

[purification]

[ ...Have a smile of sad and self-loathing. ]

...I think about you a lot.

[atrabilis]

[Ah. Nigredo understands what is not being said.]

Why? You have had no contact with me...as I am.

[purification]

[ This is more truthful than most. For a reason unknown, Alan can be himself with this child. ]

Because you're what I was missing.

[atrabilis]

[It is not something he can understand. It is something he knows.

Regardless, it comes as sad.]

A missing piece? Is that what I am to you?

[purification]

An essential piece.

[ He moves to speak further, then only shrugs, smiling helplessly. ]

What I need.

[atrabilis]

[Nigredo is speechless. That this man would claim as much.

Finally, he cants his head in concern.]

Not many would tell someone they are what they need.

[purification]

I guess I'm more blatant than most. I can't categorize myself as "normal," after all.

[ The look to Nigredo turns deeper, more serious. Slightly alluring. ]

It doesn't make it any less true.

[atrabilis]

[Perhaps, but it evokes a melancholy Nigredo has not felt in awhile. His gaze falls to the wayside.

He remains silent.]

[purification]

[ And that is that. Alan's hand reaches out to the child's head, dropping onto dark strands. ]

[atrabilis]

[Nigredo would allow it--for a beat, at least.

Then he plays at the polite host.]

Would you like a drink?

[purification]

[ There's a breath of something able to be confused as laughter, then the man reaches out to tug the child into a hug. ]

[atrabilis]

[...All he did was offer a drink, and now he's being hugged.]

Alan?

[purification]

I know I seem crazy to you, but promise me something.

[ Not to stay as he was, because Alan loved Nigel. And not to adjust his behavior, because Alan loved Nigredo as well. ]

Never be alone, if you have the option otherwise. Don't force yourself into solitude.

[ Not when Alan knew Nigredo had someone there for him. ]

[atrabilis]

[He's surrounded by crazy--Nigredo is tempted to say. Tempted, but it is not worth destroying this man's words.

He knows why Alan is asking for this.]

I... I promise.