Alternative Methods.

[doubletap]

Has sex become repetitious? Feeling sore in certain areas? Well, good news! Your boyfriend has sent you on a quest to find different ways of having fun gay sex. Yay!

Find the following people and seek out their knowledge:

• Arcade Israel Gannon (=D)
  
• Jimmy (Westside)
  
• Old Ben (Freeside)
  
• Doctor Alex Richards (Novac)
  
• Ignacio Rivas (Helios One)

Good luck, Wanderer!

Comments

[teamdonotwant]

Leaning over, his head in his hands, he finds in it himself to mutter. "You're going to get screwed with my help. It's a complicated friendship."

To the second, he leans back in the chair, dropping his hands to his knees. He's tempted to say Jimmy is disappointed at the loss of money, but the guy was a decent sort. "He's a kid. I'm not going to use him."

[goodfight]

Friendship? Maybe. Complicated? Most definitely. Neil smiles, strained. "You want out?" he asks. "I know I'm being a jackass keeping you on this ridiculous errand." Forcing Arcade to be exposed to aspects that perhaps he would rather not touch.

"That's what I thought," continues Neil. "Like I said. Good guy."

[teamdonotwant]

Arcade stares for a moment, then sighs, waving a hand in front of his face. "Stop sucking up. You owe me, remember? What was the thing he taught you anyway?"

[goodfight]

Oh, boy. Awkward laughter escapes his lips. "Blowjobs," he states.

[teamdonotwant]

A beat.

"...Well, that's appropriate. If I was someone like our Courier, I would say something about you blowing him away, but thankfully, I am not. However, I will say that you've added a powerful tool to your arsenal. Used by men or women, it brings men to their knees."

[goodfight]

An eyebrow arches upward.

"You think I should use it on Alex?" Neil wonders. "I mean, it's theoretically straightforward, but would he want that? Sucking someone off doesn't really sound appealing from the description."

[teamdonotwant]

Arcade laughs hysterically for a minute, causing the friendly neighborhood Supermutant nearby to growl in concern. He waves a hand in his face, remember how to breathe.

"You're joking. You are joking, right?"

[goodfight]

Discomfort piques at the laughter, but Neil manages to stave off defensive measures. For now, at any rate.

"I'm not... Am I supposed to be?" he responds uneasily.

[teamdonotwant]

Ah, right. When Neil first showed up at Julie's, there was another awkward conversation. In which Arcade found out-- "Ah, right. You were a virgin. And sadly didn't get with someone who showed you all of that." /puts that dig in there

"So, yes, Neil. It's very appealing. A bit mind altering, with the right person."

[goodfight]

The unease does not relent. It reminds him of falling behind, of never quite matching other people's pace. Nevertheless, Neil Park continues to the best of his ability.

"Mind altering." Maybe that's why Alex mentioned mouths on cocks a couple of times in the past. "The same orifice food goes into."

Neil mulls the idea over. "Guess I shouldn't knock it 'til I try it."

[teamdonotwant]

"You're complaining about a hole where food enters where you normally copulate where it exits."

[goodfight]

"Psh." Neil waves the comment off. "That's completely different."

[teamdonotwant]

"It's worse, scientifically. Regardless, I'm surprised you don't have a better appetite to try these things out. Most would love to think of placing themselves somewhere warm and moist."

...No. He didn't find the bottle of scotch under the table. Why do you ask?

[goodfight]

This time, the discomfort becomes apparent. "Don't think I've ever had the urge. The whole thing's just foreign to me, even when I, um. Hit puberty."

[teamdonotwant]

The scientist face goes on, even through that light comfortable haze. "Don't have the urge? Aren't you sexually active?"

[goodfight]

"...Well, yeah," the man admits grudgingly. "At best, though, sex is tolerable. If I had the choice, I'd forego the whole damn thing."

[teamdonotwant]

...And there go the warning bells again. "From what you're saying... You sound like you're being forced into something you don't want. And a person who pressured or coerced you isn't something you should be staying with."

[goodfight]

Aw, shit. "Geez, no, it ain't like that. It's fine when it happens; the only complaint I have is-- You know." The aftermath of not properly cleaning. The prospect has Neil sighing and possibly turning bright red. "I just don't get why everyone's so smitten with getting into each other's pants, outside of having kids."

[teamdonotwant]

Arcade stares for a moment. Then sighs again and rests back against the chair. "You've never had an urge or wanting to start things for yourself?"

[goodfight]

"Not because I'm, uh, needin' an itch to scratch." No, no, he's not flushing. Not at all. "There was once or twice because it felt like he..."

Loved me.

"...cared. About me." Neil trails off, decidedly uncomfortable with virtually everything.

[teamdonotwant]

He watches a young kid blush over the boyfriend he's in love with, who happens to be Arcade's closest friend. There's a bundle of problems and issues here, but that kind of honest reaction sort of makes up for some of them.

He slips a hand into his lab coat pocket, pulls out a bottlecap, and flicks it, aiming at Neil. "You didn't think to tell him you were asexual?"

[goodfight]

Neil watches an old guy waste a perfectly good cap as his attention rests entirely on the question raised. The bottlecap flicks off his chest and lands on Neil's open palm. "Thought that only applied to single-celled organisms, plants, and fungi," he said. "Also thought I was just a late bloomer, or my life's so fucked that I never developed properly."

[teamdonotwant]

"Late bloomers are never this late. It's possible that the latter is the case, however, then it's likely that you wouldn't be interested in intercourse at all, even with emotions attached. Asexual humans," he continues. "Aren't wholly adverse to sex, but are only interested in it as further bonding with the person they're partnered with. They would never have a one-night stand, or a fling, and when push comes to shove, an asexual individual would rather curl up with their partner and hug them rather than having sex.

"And if I'm right," he goes on. "All of that sounded pretty spot on to you."

[goodfight]

The logic proves sound. Tighter than Neil anticipated. Granted, this is the first he's hearing about asexual humans, but human psychology was never ever his strong suit. He sports a thoughtful expression, which ultimately shifts to something like relenting.

"...You're right," he says.

[teamdonotwant]

"...Yeah," he drawls after a moment. "You really need to explain that to Alex. And this isn't relationship advice from a friend, this is an order from a doctor. Your doctor, in this case, as we're talking about this."