Alternative Methods.

[doubletap]

Has sex become repetitious? Feeling sore in certain areas? Well, good news! Your boyfriend has sent you on a quest to find different ways of having fun gay sex. Yay!

Find the following people and seek out their knowledge:

• Arcade Israel Gannon (=D)
  
• Jimmy (Westside)
  
• Old Ben (Freeside)
  
• Doctor Alex Richards (Novac)
  
• Ignacio Rivas (Helios One)

Good luck, Wanderer!

Comments

[goodfight]

Is Alex trolling him? Or legitimately questioning? It hardly matters as Neil is more focused on not falling apart at the affection. "...Embarrassment," he says, very careful to avoid shy and any other word of the sort.

[doubletap]

"Embarrassment," he repeats in quiet thought. He touches a hand to Neil's jaw, running the fingers into his hair as he kisses under his chin, along his neck. "Does that mean you don't like this?"

[goodfight]

He meets Alex's eyes for a moment until things progress a notch. Then, his gaze falls completely away. "Embarrassed," he murmurs unhappily, "that you might see all this as weak."

[doubletap]

Alex keeps his hand there, but moves to nuzzle instead, keeping close and still holding firmly. "What's weak?" he wonders in that same tone.

"Your reactions? Your lack of reactions? This admittance?"

[goodfight]

"Everything." The sudden awareness of an abnormality, the hyperfocus on his lack of physical desire, his reactions whenever Alex demonstrates care-- It all seems too vulnerable, to liable to break.

Neil swallows and still leans into the nuzzling. "I know it's dumb to dwell on that."

[doubletap]

"As long as you know," he responds, continues to hold quietly, to cuddle affectionately.

"Because, to me, you're everything I want. Everything I've always wanted. Nothing about you is weak."

[goodfight]

Shit. His heart beats a mile a minute at the proclamation, at the contact, and Neil thinks he might break from pure want.

"I'm not going to stop having relations with you," he blathers instead. "I know it's important for you." To have the one thing that Neil will never fully comprehend.

[doubletap]

"It's not important to me," he continues in that self-same voice. He keeps Neil against his chest, keeps them close.

"You're important to me. That's entirely optional."

[goodfight]

That selfsame heart stumbles through its beats as he finds that he cannot stop shivering.

"You're already making a lot of allowances for me. I want to do something for you."

[doubletap]

Alex cuddles Neil as close as possible, keeping him within his arms. "You already do a lot for me. You're here, right here, aren't you? When this isn't your kind of place."

[goodfight]

"It can't be enough." It can't possibly be enough. Simply being here, in Alex's arms, when the older man has the entire Mojave to look after and the hidden cracks within himself, cannot qualify as 'a lot.'

But Alex had spoken, back in the bowels of Vault 7, that this is really all he could want. Neil swallows the memory and tightens his arms around Alex, his face pressing against the man's chest. "I'm here because I love you."

[doubletap]

"Exactly," he states. "You're here because you love me. Not because you love this place. You're already compromising on my behalf."

Already giving up things to be with Alex.

[goodfight]

A pause. Neil inhales the other man's scent, breathing deep.

"There is no compromise," he finally says. "When I have nowhere else to go."

[doubletap]

It reminds him.

Maybe it's because of the subject. Maybe it's because of that bunker yesterday, or because of the dreams he's been having. Maybe it's because they hadn't made love, not like that, since that stupid vault. But Alex remembers. That Neil had asked him if the Mojave was his home.

But Alex's home was gone. He stayed in the Mojave because he had nowhere else to go.

But in that vault, when Neil asked him that, there had been something else. Alex had told Neil to choose his own home, and Neil had said it wasn't a place he was looking for.

It was a friend. A friend that could be something Neil stays close to, who won't leave him. And Alex, in everything that had happened, hadn't thought of that response since then.

"...Wanderer," Alex questions, something of gravity in his tone. "Where's your home?"

[goodfight]

Home, his mind echoes. It leaves a bitter taste in your mouth. It reminds you of a copycat figurine and the hole you can never fill.

But he has. He has found what was once missing. It is this that Alex asks for.

But.

"You sure," Neil breathes out, "you want to know?"

[doubletap]

"Hey," he says accusingly; gently. "Are you doubting me now? That's no way to start this new part of our lives."

[goodfight]

There is silence for a beat. Only for a beat.

Then: "You're right. Sorry." Neil lifts his head, his face ragged. "I told you in that vault that I'm not looking for a place, right?"

A friend, he had said.

"That used to be my dad." Until James tore it away from him with a simple flip of the switch. "Now it's you."

A grim smile. "You're my home."

[doubletap]

He might have read this differently before. Had, actually, in the capital particularly. But he understands Neil a bit more now. Understands the gaps and holes in his chest and his life. The loss that came in pieces, chunks, breaking away and cracking off while nothing Neil did mattered. Changed anything. Stopped it. A ridiculous, unnecessary, destructive loss, but it had been the stable point. The only point. The axis of Neil Park's existence.

That used to be James Park. Now it was Alex Seattle Geer.

You're my home.

Neil looks like death and Alex only kisses his forehead.

"You're all I want," he repeats. "Sex or no sex, as long as you stay with me like this I'm happy. You're my life. And I'm your home. So stay here. Stay right here."

[goodfight]

Alex kisses his forehead, and Neil thinks the man's far too kind. Far more than he is ever willing to admit.

"I have no intention of leaving." Even as the other might. Pick up and just go. "I would never just go away."

Neil swallows, his throat thick with bile. "I'm staying here as long as you want me," he murmurs. "Right here. With you."

[doubletap]

"Then don't look like this is the end," he says gently. He nudges Neil's head with his own. "This is a good thing. Good things. Nothing is wrong."

[goodfight]

Good things, right. Except--

He can't help the grin, half-hearted and dwindling mirth. "You know how my luck works, right? Good things tend to just fall apart," Neil jokes.

[doubletap]

Alex raises an eyebrow in challenge. "And you know how my luck is, right? Get kicked down, bounce back better than ever. And we already had our time at the curb.

"So it's time for the better. All right?"

[goodfight]

"Better," Neil repeats. The man nods, relenting to both truth and the other. "All right."

He cannot help the small pause. "Starting with alternative ways to have sex."

[doubletap]

"Hold up," he interrupts, straightening to see him better. He loosens his hold, keeping an arm around Neil's back and resting his other on Neil's thigh. "We'll get to that."

Maybe that should be the first show of difference. Alex brushing off the chance to talk about sex.

He stares at Neil instead. "Do you actually believe what I said?"

[goodfight]

The question hardly proves to be odd, not with the way these things once went. There is heat on his bare thigh and warmth encircling around him, but Neil manages to not get distracted. He nods.

"As much as I can believe anyone," he gives sincerely.