The smile affects more than the touching, and despite his prior want of letting Neil set the pace, something thicker moved through Alex. He lets Neil kiss him for a moment, then stops, pulling Neil back so he can look him in the eyes. He places his hands on either side of Neil's face.
Alex's expression is different. Solemn, with gravity. Something shifted enough that he regained some part of his control, at least enough to press points forward.
"I love you," he says, voice deep; thick. "Enough that it scares me. I want to stay with you, kid. More than anything. I want to permanently stay with you. I don't want you to... go off, or back to stupid assholes, or decide you want to go it alone. I want to be at your side all the time. Always."
Forever, his mind supplies, but he's too fucking old to say that out loud, even with the teenager way he's acting at the moment. "I want you," he presses upon Neil. "Not just for sex or shit like that. I want you. Just you. As you are."
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Alex's expression is different. Solemn, with gravity. Something shifted enough that he regained some part of his control, at least enough to press points forward.
"I love you," he says, voice deep; thick. "Enough that it scares me. I want to stay with you, kid. More than anything. I want to permanently stay with you. I don't want you to... go off, or back to stupid assholes, or decide you want to go it alone. I want to be at your side all the time. Always."
Forever, his mind supplies, but he's too fucking old to say that out loud, even with the teenager way he's acting at the moment. "I want you," he presses upon Neil. "Not just for sex or shit like that. I want you. Just you. As you are."