Even in that twilight state, Neil feels that disconnect, the earlier discrepancy. There exists no interest in Alex, no need for gratification, and the fact stays with Neil. Clings to something delicate and damaged within him. He swallows, disquieted, unable to put words to the emotion.

The rest proves less destructive. There exists more care, but it still remains. The act is atypical for the man others refer to as the Courier. Impossible, even. Neil always had to take care of matters himself. He has to wonder what it means that the task is now taken up by Alex. Alex, who slips back to his original place on the bed.

I missed you.

Sorrow wells in Neil, flooding his head and chest without warning, evident only in his dark eyes. He watches the other man through the haze, idly wondering if he might actually be in a dream.

"Didn't mean to hurt you," he says quietly, his voice straining at the effort.