A beat passes, and Alex moves to settle on top of Neil, slipping down to kiss. To press against lips and body alike. Neil breathes harshly when they break apart, discomfort and pleasuring mingling, threatening to overwhelm.

Alex tells him he can move, and Neil-- "Alive," he repeats. "I haven't moved on my own in awhile. I've only been reacting." Having his switches flipped at the turn of every single event. "If that's being alive, I'd rather--" Be dead.

He stops, eyes widening in realization. He swallows down the words he wishes so desperately to speak, pushing them to the pit of his stomach.