In that instant, from that singular response, Neil stops struggling. He ceases his protests long enough to watch Alex with his dark eyes, to consider the one question he often overlooked in favor of pride. Of denial, of justification.

What is this between them, exactly? He said he loved Alex, thought of him as a friend, but he doesn't think he knew what that meant at that time. And perhaps now he thinks that he should have known.

He stills completely, falling silent, eyes still fixed, unblinking, on Alex.